What "Growing Old Gracefully" Means to Me ~ #GenFab BlogHop

My great-grandmother Claudia ('Claud' to us kids) was such an inspiration to me.  I idolized her and dreamed about what my life would be like when I was a grandmother like her.  She was born in the year 1900, and out of family obligation, she marry her brother-in-law when she was only 17 because her sister died in childbirth, leaving him to raise their 4 children by himself.  One of those children was my fathers-mother, so technically Claudia was my ‘step’ great-grandmother.  She and her husband went on to have 5 more children together (nine in all).

My Great-Grandma Claudia with just a few of her many great-grandkids. I am left-front.

 

When I was growing up my great-grandmother Claudia was my primary example of a kind, loving, motherly (and grandmotherly) figure.  She and I developed a very special bond.  And she was my saving grace from the terribly unhappy relationship I had with my mother.  She was my maternal role model.  I idolized her so much that I couldn't wait to be a grandmother one day myself.  When my first daughter was born I thought, “A girl, how wonderful, that means I will be a grandmother to her children."  My grandmother was a strong woman, although she never wore a pair of pants a day in her life.  I remember her getting upset with her daughter once when she bought grandma a pant-suit for her 65^th birthday (the pant-suit was promptly returned for a Sunday Dress).  My grandma said she had not seen fit to wear pants her entire life and she wasn’t going to change that at this age. 

Her usual attire was a just-below-the-knee length dress, a pair of sturdy nursing type shoes, and knee-high panty hose that had long-since lost their elastic band so they rested all scrunchy around her ankles.  And always the white apron...because you never knew when you might need to cook up a meal for company. 

She never learned to drive a car, so she would walk anywhere she needed to go.  I think that is why she needed those sturdy old shoes.   My grandma never wore make up or dyed her head full of white hair.  She didn’t fuss about wrinkles or the extra pounds she had put on in her midlife.  She had arthritis in her hands so bad that she couldn't open her last three fingers on either hand because they were so curled tight to her fist.  She never complained about the arthritis.  Once I asked her why she never opened her fingers...she said it was because she had arthritis, so she could not straighten out those fingers any more, but it was a good thing because I could squeeze my little hand right in behind her fingers and she could hold my hand nice and tight.  To me, she was the most beautiful person on earth. 

Then there was my mother.  She was so deathly afraid of aging that she would borrow my clothes in high school so that she might get mistaken as me if a friend drove by her in the front yard.  She spent lots of money on expensive make up that only made her look ‘made-up’.  When she was in her mid 40s she left my father for a man who was barely 2 years older than my brother (her first born).  This new relationship seemed to only fuel her fire for holding off the aging process.  In her ridiculous effort to stay forever young she starved herself till she looked like an anorexic teen and wore leather skirts, dyed her hair some ungodly colors, to cover up her peppering grey flecks in her black hair.  Then she had a facelift that left her looking pulled and stretched in an unnatural way, along with ugly spider scars around her ears where they pulled her cheeks up and over her ears, Ugh!  She had a chin implant to stretch out her saggy skin on her neck…which shifted a few days post-surgery and required a second surgery to put it back where a chin should be.

All of this made her look like a freak to me.  Now that she is in her late 60’s every part of her (around the stretched out face skin) has aged as would be expected.  The younger man thankfully moved on.  She will never be the 20 year old that she so badly wanted to hold on to…and she will never feel good in her own skin.  That is so sad to me.

With these two examples of 'growing old(er)'...I think my great-grandmother truly Grew Old Gracefully, while my mother fought the impossible battle of not aging at all.  So 'Growing Old Gracefully' (to me) means not trying to be something you are not.  I am happy in my own skin…wrinkled as it might be.  I love the specks of silver sprinkled throughout my dirty blonde hair.  I don’t feel the need to cover any of this up with make-up, hair dye, or surgery.   I plan to grow old gracefully,  embracing the person I am becoming with each new wrinkle I see.  So one day I can be a great role model for my granddaughter.

This post is part of a bloghop for a group of midlife bloggers called Generation Fabulous (GenFab for short).  

Journey to Discovering My Purpose in Life -With Chickens

In my life I have worked at many things.  I’ve been a stay at home mom, ran a daycare in my home, I was an independent paralegal in my own office, I’ve worked as a dental assistant in a men’s federal prison, I even ran my own retail store, and now I manage commercial and residential properties.  But I still feel that I am not doing what I am supposed to be doing with my life.  I feel an urge, almost like a physical need to do something else that gives my life purpose.  In speaking with other midlife women I know that this feeling is quite normal.  As we become aware of how finite our lives really are, we begin seeking real meaning for our existence…before we cease to exist.

Mr Holly and I have stayed up late many nights talking about what is next for us.  He says that everything that I’ve done in the past 50 years has been for a reason and it will all somehow come together to help me on my journey to become who I am supposed to be.  With my varied history I wonder what could possibly be the culmination of all of those life skills.  When I reflect back through my life, the one time in my life when I felt the most happy and content was when I was a child tending to our farm.  I was a very lonely child in a house full of people that I felt completely disconnected from.  Yet when I spent time with our animals or tending to the garden I felt complete contentment.  I would spend lots of time just sitting on the fence having conversations with my cow.  She never spoke a word back to me but I could tell by the way she looked at me, or nudged her head up towards my outstretched hand, that she connected with me.  

Image Source: "Our Neck of the Woods" blog.

 The same could be said for my chickens.  Many people say that chickens are the dumbest animal alive, but I would totally disagree.  Most of our chickens were soon-to-be-fried-chicken-dinners but several of them were my pets, and would never face that fate (as long as they were good layers that is).  I loved my chickens.  I could watch them for hours on end, walking around the yard scratching at the dirt, chasing an occasional grasshopper that would dare jump through their coop yard.  I think that time has created my abnormal attraction for chickens.  To me, they are one of the most beautiful creatures to observe.  I would love to raise some chickens now but our lives are a bit too hectic at this time.  So until I find a way to slow things down I just have to live vicariously through other people’s lives (or blogs). 

Ellie Peeking out the Coop Door (Image Source: Tammy of OurNeckOfTheWoods.net)

One of my favorite bloggers is Tammy of “Our Neck of theWoods”.  She uses her blog to share the trials and tribulations of their homesteading life.  I especially enjoy the wonderful photos that she posts on her blog including the one above showing one of her favorite hens peeking out of the coop door.  Such a great photo!  Tammy is a young woman who didn’t wait until she was in midlife to finally live her dreams.  She and her husband David left the hectic city life and moved to 20 acres of wooded land to grow their own food, tend to their chickens and their other many animals.  I am envious of their homesteading life and feel so inspired by their courage to live their lives in a way that makes them so happy. 

You know, we older folks tend to think we are the ones teaching the younger people by sharing our life experiences, yet this young woman, half my age, has opened my eyes to what is most important to me.  She has shown me that the only way I am going to find the peace and contentment I yearn for in my own life is to start living it –now!  

My New Bumper Sticker describes the Midlife Me Perfectly

I love getting things in the mail.  Today my new magnetic bumper sticker that I created at CafePress.com arrived!   What do you think?

"I've been diagnosed with C.R.S. - Can't Remember Shit"

I saw a bumper sticker similar to this recently while having dinner at one of our favorite cafe's.  The server brought a sheet of paper to our table with a bunch of images of funny midlife sayings on them and I thought this one described me Perfectly!  I went to CafePress to buy one for myself but sadly I discovered that they discontinued this design a while back.  However, they told me that I could easily create my own design on a bumper sticker, car magnet, shirt, hat, bag, and even a coffee mug.  So I did it!  I got the magnet because I hate sticking a bumper sticker to my car.  If it fades or cracks I want the ugly thing off my car without damaging my paint job.
 
You can make your own too.  It was really easy to do and they had lots of fun images and fonts to choose from to make it exactly the way you want.   I think I am going to go back and make me some more.  Think how expressive I could be with these.  Hopefully they will bring a smile to the face of the next person who is stuck behind me on the road.


If you were going to create a custom bumper sticker to describe yourself in midlife...what would it say? 

Disclaimer: This is not a paid promotion for CafePress.  I was not compensated for this post in any way.  I am simply sharing it with you because I enjoyed my experience on their website creating this fun product.  However, the links to their website is an affiliate link that I established specifically for this post.

It is Official! Today I am a 50 year old college student!!!

That's right, I am going back to college at the ripe (young) age of 50 years old!!!

My tuition is all paid and my first book arrived today, Yippee!  I am officially a college student again after 30+ years!  Oh my goodness that sounds like a very long time.  The funny thing is that the subjects I wanted to study then are the same that I am taking now but for totally different reasons.  I have always been fascinated by psychology, abnormal psychology in particular.  I once wanted a career in counseling, but now I am just studying it purely for the fun and interest of it. 

My classes begin on Monday.  I am so excited and not the least bit nervous...I think that might be 'abnormal' in itself.  How can someone be starting college in a few days and not be nervous at all? I believe its because I have no fear of failure.  Many decades ago I would have been terrified about failing.  But now in my midlife years I just don't give a damn about that.  I am doing what I want to do and that is all that matters.

Another bonus...my student ID card arrived today, so now I can even get a discount on my lunch at one of my favorite Mexican restaurants that offers Student Discounts!  Could life get any better then this?
   

I'm Co-Hosting this weeks "Lets Get Social Sunday"

I am so honored to be co-hosting this weeks "Lets Get Social Sunday" blog hop hosted by Evelyn at "My Turn (For Us)", and Jamie at "Love Bakes Good Cakes" along with the other co-host this week, Lynn at "Turnips 2 Tangerines".  I hope you will join us this week, there are so many great ladies to meet!

Welcome to Let's Get Social Sunday!

This party is for bloggers who wish to make new friends and gain new followers. It is also an opportunity to link up all your social media sites to gain more followers for blogging opportunities and it increases traffic to all your sites.

Please:)

(1) Follow your hosts and co-hosts in as many ways as possible

Jamie @ Love Bakes Good Cakes

and

Evelyn @ My Turn for us

and

Lynn @ Turnips 2 Tangerines
and

Holly @ Hmmm...Holly

(the first three to four links links in each category)

(2) Grab our button and share it on your blog

(3) Let us know if you followed in the comments, so we can return the follows!

(4) Find some new blogs to follow and let 'em know you found them from the Let's Get Social Sunday party. 

*Just a note - If you would like to co-host, we are accepting spots in the future for co-hosts. Please, email Evelyn or Jamie and we will send you the information on scheduling. :)

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What a Week! Modesty, Mammograms, You Can't Marry Your Mommy

Random Thoughts about My Week...

Blogging from the bathroom...I am writing this post from my glider rocker...sitting in my bathroom!  My granddaughter is spending the night tonight and she loves taking a bath in Nanny & Papa's jacuzzi size bathtub.  I am a paranoid grandma so I wont leave her alone in the tub.  She is six years old and probably well past the stage of potential tub drowning, but like I said, I am a paranoid grandma.  I figure it's better to be a bit on the paranoid side then the negligent side.  Just last week I heard about a grandma that left her pool gate open and somehow didn't notice when her infant grandchild was out of her sight while babysitting.  The baby drowned.  I could not live with myself after something like that happened to one of my grandchildren...so here I sit with my laptop in the steamy bathroom.

She doesn't care that I am here.  When we were filling the tub with lavender scented bubbles Little Miss was stripping down to her birthday suit in anticipation.  Then she suddenly remembered that she did not grab her basket of bathtub toys from the kids bathroom.  She started to head out of the bathroom naked so I called after her to wrap up in her towel before she ran streaking through the house.  She said, "Oh yea!" then instead of wrapping in her towel she placed her open hand over her little butt crack and ran off to the other room!  I can only deduce that she felt the butt crack was the most important thing to cover to retain your modesty!

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"If you can't marry your Mommy..."  Last night my 4 year old grandson spent the night.  My daughter (their auntie) and I are sharing them this weekend, giving them each a little alone time, separate from each other.  Last night over dinner Little Man told me that his mommy said that he could not marry her when he got older because boys are not allowed to marry their mommies.  So he decided that when he got older he would marry ME instead!  I think he missed the point of the conversation and I didn't want to confuse him more, so I told him that I was already married to Papa.  He replied with a little laugh like 'I' was the silly one, saying, "Nanny, I mean when Papa gets old and dies, then I will marry you."   How sweet that he thinks I am never going to age... can't say the same for poor Papa.

 ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~

Annual Breast Squeeze... This week I had my annual Mammogram...two months late, but at least I did get it.  I don't know why some woman make such a big deal out of getting one.  My aunt use to request Valium from her doctor before the procedure, just to calm her down.  She said it was so painful.  I had my first one when I was in my 30's (due to a suspicious lump) and it wasn't painful at all.  She said it was more painful for her because she had such small breasts (B cup) and mine were very large (HH).  Well at the age of 36 I had a breast reduction and I can tell you from the perspective of both large and small (barely a B cup) breasts that it was not painful.  A little uncomfortable maybe, but the whole thing from "undress from the waist up, to the "We'll send you the results in about a week" takes only 15 minutes.  So I have decided that my aunt is just a weeny.

Mobile On-Site Mammography Truck

If you are 40 or older you need to get a mammogram every year...give it to yourself as a gift.  I usually schedule mine every December, but this year we were so busy I didn't get to it until February.  I have a friend who has had breast cancer twice!  She survived the treatment after the first breast...she says the treatment is probably worse than the disease.  She was was lucky with her second one and only needed to have the breast removed.  Both times a mammogram was how she discovered it.  She is alive today because she had annual mammograms.  Have you had yours this year?

~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~

My Homemade Chili...Tonight we had my homemade Three Bean Turkey Chili with Corn bread.  I love the combination of Pinto beans, Garbanzo's, and Black Beans in my chili.  Top that with crumbled sweet corn bread and I am in Heaven!  I was a little nervous about serving it to my granddaughter because she can be a picky eater.  Turns out she LOVES corn bread and ate most of the chili simply because she had corn bread crumbled on top.  She even said it was better then her mother cooks...Oops, I wont share that part with my daughter.

My Three Bean Turkey Chili

If you want to make this Chili just cook a pound of Lean Ground Turkey, add one packet of your favorite Chili Seasoning Packet (the lower the sodium the better), 1 can of each Black Beans, Garbanzo Beans, and Pinto Beans (approx 15 oz size) drained and rinsed, 1/2 diced Green Bell Pepper,  1/2 cup frozen southwest corn, black bean, & peppers mix, 2 cans diced tomatoes (15 oz size), 2 cans of tomato sauce.  Allow it to simmer for about 45 minutes.  Serve with sweet corn bread -mmm mmm good!

~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~

One last random thought tonight.   

Kitty Bonds are very strong...  This week I got a crazy idea that turned into a total disaster causing me to lose two nights sleep -literally.  My granddaughter wants a kitten really really bad.  My daughter and I didn't think she should start out with a tiny kitten.  I have 4 older kittens (8 months) that know her already...so I thought why not give her one of my kittens!  It sounded like a great idea at the time.  Well it turned out to be a horrible idea.  On the two nights that I stay with the grandkids while mom works, I thought I would bring one of our kittens to my granddaughter.  We arrived on Wednesday at my granddaughters house with Molly, the kitten that likes her the best. Molly did not mind the three hour drive because she got to cuddle with my dog Piggy (they have a strange dog-cat bond).  But once we got inside the house Molly freaked out.  She did not like the house at all.  She immediately hid.  Then began crying out for her brothers and sister.  She could not be soothed at all.  The crying went on all through the night.  I got no sleep -although the grandkids slept like logs.  By morning when my daughter arrived home from work, Molly was so tired that she crawled in a dark space behind the bed and slept all day!  I on the other hand did not get to sleep that day.  On Thursday evening she began crying again, calling out for her housemates who she has never been separated from one day in her life.  So Thursday night I got no sleep again.  Friday afternoon we headed home with our kitty Molly.  My granddaughter was disappointed but I promised her that kitten season was just beginning and we could find the perfect kitten for her if she could just patiently wait a few more weeks.

Molly (on the left) getting some much needed sleep with her sister Madeline (on the right).

Molly is back home with her sister and brothers.  No more crying, no freaking out and hiding.  She is so happy to be back home with her kitty family...never to be separated again.
  

  

Book Review: Find Your Reason To Be Here: The Search for Meaning in Midlife

I just finished reading a book called "Find Your Reason To Be Here: The Search for Meaning in Midlife" written by Laura Lee Carter.  It is a fast read, (I could have read it in one long sitting) but I did it over a 3 hour drive with a 4 & 6 year old, then in several 20 minute sessions squeezed in between the end of a major house remodel project that we just finished.  And I finally have time to write this post about this fabulous book that I wanted to share with other midlife women (and men).

The book is not so much a 'how-to' as it is the 'how did we get here?' and the encouragement and guidance we all need from a midlifer who has already "found her reason to be here". 

I began reading this book for myself but several chapters in I decided to share some of what I was learning with my husband, who is also age 50 and dealing with many of the same conundrums of midlife as I am.  The first half of the book goes in to great detail about the history of midlife to help you understand how we got to this place in our lives known as 'midlife'.  What a learning experience this was for us!  Since Laura is a Psychotherapist and a researcher she shares the history of midlife from a psychological perspective.  We found this to be very interesting because we discovered that this phase in life is not unique to us Boomers.  We mid-lifers (especially us women) are just learning to deal with it in a whole new way compared to our parents and grandparents.

Laura shares some of her own life tragedies such as a divorce, losing her job of 20+ years, and losing a close family member, that propelled her into discovering her reason to be here. This helped me to see why sometimes we need such tragic life events to sort of kick us in the pants, to be the catalysts to become our better selves. 

She says that "midlife can lead to both crisis and opportunity" and that it is a "natural rite of passage that is too often spent feeling alone, confused, isolated, misunderstood, and marginalized, when it should be celebrated as a time to come into our own power, embrace what is unique within us."  In my own midlife journey I have felt at times very alone and confused because I didn't know what to do with my new feelings.  Sometimes my emotions feel almost like a physical need, that I would describe as being similar to the feeling of thirst (and sometimes to the point of dehydration) for something more out of my life.  I did not understand these feelings.  I thought this feeling was unique to me so I never shared it with anyone before.  But now, after reading Laura's book, I realize that this desire for finding my reason or purpose for being is a normal feeling.   I just have to learn to listen to and trust my own inner wisdom and not put my desires on the shelf to be dealt with at a later date...that may never come.  It is time to take responsibility for my own satisfaction in life so that I can grow into this next stage of my life without regrets.  

Laura Lee Carter says she writes another book when she gets an "uncontrollable urge" to write, this is her third book.   You can find this inspiring book "Find Your Reason To Be Here: The Search for Meaning in Midlife" available in Paperback at Amazon.  You can also find her two previous books (which I cannot wait to read myself) "How to Believe in Love Again" and "Midlife Magic: Becoming the Person You Are Inside" at Amazon as well.

About the Author: Before Laura Lee Carter transitioned into her work as a professional writer, author and psychotherapist, she worked as an academic librarian, teacher and researcher for over 25 years.  After finding inspiration in her own midlife difficulties, she now feels compelled to provide hope and support to those of us struggling to transition into a better life in midlife.   Be sure to visit Laura's Website to learn more about her.
 
Disclaimer:  I was not paid by the author to post this review, however I was provided a free digital copy of the book to read for reviewing purposes.

Weekend with the Grands: Learning to Ride a Quad

The weather was so beautiful on a recent weekend (before all the snow rolled in) so we took the grandkids quad out in the desert for a picnic and some 4 wheeling fun (well as much as they can have at 2.5 miles per hours).  We recently bought the kids this little electric quad.  It can be set to either 2.5 mph or 5 mph.  Since they are still learning how to maneuver it, without running over us of the dogs, we've left it at the 2.5 mph setting for now.  The kids feel like they are really cruizin on this thing.  They take turns riding and sometimes they like to ride it together.  Then when one of them gets it stuck in a rut, the other jumps off and pushes to help get it going again.  Mr Holly rode a dirt bike from the time he was old enough to balance the thing so he is anxious to get the grands started riding dirt bikes and quads.

Little Man taking off on his quad.

They took to driving the quad pretty quick, except I think we may be a bad influence on them because Little Miss insisted on eating her PB&J sandwich (which she made herself) while driving.  She said we grown-ups do it so she can too...oops!

"Little Miss Driving & Eating" they model after us...guess we need to correct this bad habit!

They scared us for a minute when they were riding together and passed behind the van where their juice bottles filled with chocolate milk were sitting.  Little Miss says to Little Man, "Let's stop at the 'bar' and get a drink"  (WHAT?!?)  Just so you know, we don't drink and if we did, we certainly would never drink and drive!!  Then Little Miss says, "this is our Chocolate Milk Bar!" so as it turns out her 'bar' was perfectly innocent.

"The Milk Bar"

Little Miss & Little Man riding together.

It was a very full weekend and we were all feeling pretty content on the Sunday evening ride back to mom's house.  We wont have the kids for the next two weekends because they go to their dads (they have two weekends with him, then two with us) but I am already thinking about ideas for our next weekend together.  What fun activities do you like to do with your grands?

Five Ways to Entertain your Four year old Grandson in a Construction Zone

As many of you know I babysit my grandson two days during the week while his mom (my daughter) sleeps (she works the night shift).  As you may also know from my last post, we are also in the home-stretch on a total house remodel job.  So this means that my four year old grandson has to accompany me to the job site during the day on those two days a week.  Have you ever tried to keep a four year old boy occupied and out of harms way in a construction zone?  It is not easy, but I have managed to do it with some success this week and no one was injured in the process.  Let me share my top five tips, just in case you find yourself in a similar situation.

Five Ways to Entertain your Four year old Grandson in a Construction Zone:


1. Give him something constructive to do so he won't be destructive. I had to sand and refinish all of the kitchen cabinets so I gave my grandson a screw driver and let him remove all of the hinges...boys really like screw drivers. He did it with such attention to detail, and was so proud of the huge pile of hinges and screws he had when it was done.

2. Give him a hammer and show him a pile of large rocks.  He will figure out what to do next.  Just don't tell him that prisoners use to do it as punishment, it takes all the fun out of it.

3. First, make sure the neighbor's dog is securely confined in her yard, then let your grandson run laps up and down the fence line making barking sounds (like the dog usually does when we are in the yard).  Interestingly, the dog hates this as much as we do, when she does it to us.

4. Ask him to use a magnet to pick up all the loose nails, screws, and staples.  This may be a chore for us grown ups but four year old boys LOVE it!

5.  If you are painting the trim outside the house, let him put on his Spiderman gloves and climb the 5 foot tall chain link fence like he is Spiderman.  When your daughter gets upset that you let him climb the fence (which apparently is against her rules), then first tell her it is only 5 foot tall so the most he could have fallen would have been two feet...then remind her about the things she secretly did as a teenager against your rules...then say, "We are even now." (with a smile of course)


So 5 hours on the job site and he didn't get hurt, nor did he make his Papa crazy with 1001 silly questions while he is trying to make detailed tile cuts.  He even earned some pay at the end of the job just like the subcontractors on the job. I think it was a good day :-)

We are down to Crunch Time

I just wanted to let you know that I may be M.I.A. (missing in action) for the next 10 days because we are down to 'crunch time' on a remodel project that Mr Holly and I are working on.  Back in November we bought a repo that was in HORRIBLE condition.  We practically striped the house down to the bones and started rebuilding it.  The good news is that we got a quality renter before the house was even half-way done.  For the next week we will be painting, tiling, and attending to all those last minute details.  The carpet is being installed on the 22nd and the new tenant is moving in on the 23rd, so we have to stay on the job until everything is done.

When we work on these kind of projects together, Mr Holly handles the construction end and I handle the property management end once it's done.  During the construction phase I also help with the designing decisions, ordering materials, bringing lunches, fetching supplies, and at the end I do the detailed paint work too.  This makes for a great working relationship for us because we aren't stepping on each others toes...and he hates dealing with the administration details and tenant issues. 

Do you and your life-partner work together?  It can be a real problem for some couples.  We had difficulty in the beginning.  Then a couple that we know gave us the best advice.  They run a very happening restaurant and managed to not make each other crazy.  We asked how they do it.  She said that he runs the "back of the house" (kitchen, ordering, kitchen staff) and she runs the "front of the house" (dining area, customer interaction, servers).   They each have their own 'zones' and therefore they don't share the same responsibilities, because they each have their own.  If the staff in front of the house has an issue, she is the go-to person, and likewise for him in the back of the house.  They have been in business for over 10 years and they still choose to spend their 2 days off a week together, so we decided to follow their advice.

So, until I get back, if you come looking for me, I wont be here in front of my computer...but I will be back as quick as I can.  In the mean time please enjoy some of my older posts that you might have missed before.  When I have little breaks I will be spending that time replying to your comments and visiting your blogs as well.

Shared from Chicken Jokes Facebook Page

See ya soon!

I had dinner with Wilford Brimley tonight

Well, not really 'with' Wilford...but we were so close we could have had dinner together.

Mr Holly and I were driving through Wickenburg, AZ this evening and feeling hungry.  I used my newly installed Yelp app to find the nearest restaurant with a #1 rating.  Yelp showed El Ranchero Mexican Restaurant.  It was packed when we got there, not just because it was rated #1 in Wickenburg but because this is Rodeo weekend and there were people everywhere! (BTW, it was the best Mexican food in Wickenburg)

The only open seating was in a little off-shoot area about 8 feet wide that was just deep enough to hold 6 two-person tables.  We sat in the middle table on the right.  After we got our drinks and placed our order two men walked in and sat at the third table on the left.  Mr Holly said, "Wow, that man looks like Wilford Brimley."  When he walked passed me and sat down facing me I said, "Honey that IS Wilford Brimley."

My father was a huge western movie fan so I have seen just about every old western movie at least a few times.  As a child I could do a pretty good "Duke" impersonation.  (The "Duke" is John Wayne for those who were not western fans in the 60's.)  And I am very familiar with what Wilford Brimely sounds like, so if this man spoke, I would know immediately if he was the Wilford Brimley or a look-a-like.  The server approached his table to take their drink orders and the man asked a question...It WAS Wilford!  

Mr Holly said he thought he heard that Mr Brimley lived somewhere near here in Arizona.  So I googled it with my phone and learned that he is in town for a performance at the Del E Webb Center for Performing Arts.

Source

I didn't want to stare at him because he probably gets that all the time.   He seemed like he was trying to blend in...he was wearing denim bib overalls over a crisply pressed light blue dress shirt and a tan cowboy hat (just like the one in the photo above promoting the event).  So I didn't bother him.  I just enjoyed listening to him talk to the young man he was dinning with.  Judging by the age it could have easily been his grandson.  I love the sound of Wilford's voice, it is so fatherly and comforting.  Makes me want to have a bowl of warm oatmeal.

My daughter sent me the most Amazing Text Message today

I had to up my text allowance to Unlimited because my daughters and I text so much.  We easily exceed 1000 text message a month each.  Today my younger daughter sent me this text:

"I have to say this is the first time in a long time I could say I am truly happy with every aspect of my life. The kids are turning out to be amazing people.  I'm finally feeling good about myself. I have a great family and I have an amazing man in my life. I owe a lot of it to you, you are an amazing mother and I love you so much mom."

Wow...how do you reply to that? 

Let me give you a little background.  My daughter is a single mother of my two grandbabies.  She has been divorced for about 3 years since her husband decided that video games were more important then his wife or children.  She had gained a lot of weight since the break-up and been through some really crappy relationships and difficulties financially.

We do what we can to help her without taking over her life.  I help her financially when she specifically asks for it.  I sleep over at her house a few nights a week while she works the night shift and sleeps during the day, and we take the kids to our house on the weekends that they don't visit their dad so she can work and sleep peacefully for a few days in the week with no extra responsibilities.  She rents a house from us so that we know she can afford the rent, it is a nice big house for the grandkids, and in a safe neighborhood for them all.

A few months ago my daughters and I all decided to join Weight Watchers together to support each other.  She had the most weight to lose and was the most excited about the new venture, but then became the most hesitant to get started because it seemed like too overwhelming a task.  I encouraged her, without pressuring her.  At one point when her sister and I were three weeks in, and she still had not started, she told me to cancel the membership because she knew she couldn't do it and would always be fat.  I told her that I would not cancel it...she could start any time that she felt she was ready...I had pre-paid three months worth.  She finally did get started about the 4th week and she has lost over 20lbs in the first month!!  Now that she has seen how easy it really was, and see's the progress she is making, she is more motivated then ever.

The "amazing man in her life" she mentioned in the text has been her best friend for over 12 years but they could not seem to get themselves synchronized enough to both be ready to take it to the next level at the same time.  He is absolutely wonderful with the grandkids and loves her with all his being...plus, Mr Holly and I really like him.  So I had to play matchmaker.  I told them to stop fulling around and get serious about their relationship.  They both knew they wanted to be together so just start dating and stop acting like 7th graders.  They took my advice (Shocker!) and started dating.  We see each of them separate and together every day and they both just light up at the mention of the others name so we know they are a happy couple.   My future son-in-law (too much pressure?) told me privately the other day that he is so happy that I intervened.

So when she said, "I owe a lot of it to you" I guess she does owe some of the credit to me...but her happiness is all the repayment I need :-)

How I met my husband: Online Dating Sites, Creeps, and Serial Dating Seniors

My husband and I met through an Online dating site.  Neither of us can remember what the name of the site was...it was 10 years ago and there weren't as many sites as there are now.  I think it might have been Match.com and he thinks it was something on Yahoo (I think they are one in the same).  It really doesn't matter at this point.  At that time online dating was not as popular as it is today.  Most of us using an internet dating site kept it to ourselves about how we seemed to meet such a variety of people to date. 

Lately I have been hearing about so many really bad match-ups from online dating sites.  My single daughter used a few different sites and never met anyone worthy of a second date, and some didn't even make it to the first date.  I wonder if there are more creeps using the sites today or just more people, therefore the odds are greater that you will meet more creeps.  I don't know.

Several of my single friends in their 60's and 70's use dating sites to Serial Date!  Have you heard of this?  Serial Dating is quite popular.  People go on dating sites to meet other potential dates...not to find potential relationships...just to date lots of people.   Serial dating insures that they will always have a date on Friday night, and Saturday, and Sunday...or any day of the week, if not every day of the week.  I thought only young men in their 20's were 'players' (I am stereotyping - based on my daughters dates over the past few years), but I guess Serial Dating is now popular with all age groups . 

One of our friends who is 66 years of age dates so many women that one time we were all going out to dinner as a group.  When his 'date' showed up at the restaurant we thought she was the woman he went on a date with the previous night.  She was tall, slim, artificially blonde...just like the woman we met the night before.  My husband said, "Hi Susan, so great to see you again!"  She gave him the strangest look but smiled and accepted the welcoming hug.  Her name was Patty! Oops!

Another of our single friends who is 74 years of age serial dates as well.  He is with a new woman every time we see him.  He recently told us he just got back from a week-long trip to California with a woman.  They rode out on his motorcycle and stayed in her condo on the beach.  Had a great time he said.  We thought, "Wow, a week together, this must be getting serious."  Then he said he had to get back because he had a date...with yet another woman!

I am so glad I am happily married...I would sure hate to meet one of these men as a potential date.  Mr Holly and I almost didn't meet at all.  We were both so disappointed with the way things had been going on the dating site.   He gave up and canceled his membership but they told him that his profile would remain live for the remaining three days left in the month.  I had been contacted by so many creeps that I was going to cancel my membership at the end of the month, but thought I would give this one last try...but this time "I" was going contact someone rather than letting them contact me.  So I searched through the potential men in my town and saw Mr Holly's profile.  His photo was a snapshot someone had taken of him sitting in a chair.  He looked un-posed and very casual.  He had a full beard and I LOVE facial hair.  He was a contractor and I LOVE men who work with their hands.  So I sent him an email. 

He almost didn't reply because he thought his membership was closed, and besides he was sick of online dating.  But his sister convinced him to give it one more chance.  We exchanged cell phone numbers and talked on the phone that night for 4-1/2 hours!  -thank goodness for unlimited minutes!  We met in person the next day and the connection was instant.  We went on a first date that lasted 7 days.  My adult daughters thought I had lost my mind.  They even hacked my email account to find out what I was up to.   I did call them on the 3rd day...boy did I get a butt chewing, LOL.

We've been together for 10 years and we can both honestly say we are still very much "in love".  We are thankful that online dating sites were available then...but SO thankful that we don't have to use them now.  How about you?  Have you tried online dating sites?  Did you meet your spouse (or significant other) through an online dating site?  Are you still looking for Mr or Mrs Right-for-me?

Above Image Source: Free Clip Art from wpclipart.com

Weekend with the Grands: Making Heart-shaped Crayons

I am such a fortunate grandma to live near my grandchildren.  Their mom is a single mom and works the night shift so 3 nights a week I sleep over at their house, plus two weekends a month they come to stay the weekend at our house.  This allows mom to work nights and sleep during the day without needing to put the kids in daycare.  I cherish my time with them.  On the weekends at our home I try to have something special planned as our main activity for the weekend.  This weekend we planned to make heart-shaped Crayons to give as Valentine's Day gifts in Little Miss' kindergarten class instead of sugary treats.  I try to encourage healthy habits in the kids while they are young enough for it to become second nature to them.  They are very receptive to learning healthy habits at this age (4 and almost 6).  If I say, "Where shall we eat out today?" they use to say "McDonald's", but now they say, "not McDonald's because that is all junky food." (Sorry McD's but it is true.)

The kids were very excited about making their own crayons.  I bought two silicone candy molds, one in heart shapes and the other in Hello Kitty shapes since Little Miss loves anything Hello Kitty.  I just happen to have about 500 thick crayons laying around for about a year.  I found an awesome deal on a huge bulk box of crayons that I couldn't pass up.  A grandma never knows when she might need 500 crayons...thank goodness Mr Holly doesn't question my sanity when I buy such things.  I wanted the kids to feel like they really did make these themselves so I did the knife work and the handling of hot pans but they did all the rest.  If you're looking for a fun project to do with your grandkids, the basic instructions are posted in the captions of the pictures.  If you don't have enough broken pieces laying around already, you can purchase big boxes of crayons at the dollar store for practically nothing.

First we remove the wrappers.  Tip: use a sharp knife to score along one side to make removing the paper very easy.  If any paper sticks you can shave it off with the knife.

Score the side of each crayon so it's easy for little hands (and old ones too) to snap into four or five pieces. This reminded me of snapping green beans with my great-grandma when I was a child. Tip: place parchment paper under your work area to save on clean up time afterwards...tiny bits of crayon stuck to my table. I was able to get it off but save yourself the extra work.

We sorted our pieces in different bowls but you really don't have to do this.

Place the broken pieces into the molds. Completely fill the molds because they will melt down quite a bit. You can mix n match the colors however you like.  We liked a bunch of colors so that when you use the crayon the color will gradually change as you draw.

Place the silicone molds on to a cookie sheet and place in the oven set at about 220 degrees.  Bake about 20-40 minutes (checking every 10 minutes), until the crayons are melted and liquid is about level. CAREFULLY remove the cookie sheet from the oven and let it cool.  We were in a hurry so after a few minutes of cooling I carefully placed the molds into a shallow baking dish filled with about an inch of cold water.  This speeds up the cooling/solidifying process.  We were then able to remove the crayons in about 15 minutes.

Here are the finished Heart-Shaped and Hello Kitty Shaped Crayons! The kids were so proud of their work.

It was a very fun weekend with a big bag full of handmade crayons ready for Valentines day gift giving.  The kids were anxious to get home to mom on Sunday evening to show her what they had made 'all by themselves' (almost).  I am already planning our next weekend adventure on the new kids quad!  What adventures have you shared with your grands?

Funny QTV Interview of Sandra Shamas ~ Loving Yourself in Your Second Act

Some days I get on the internet with a plan in mind but get easily distracted by an interesting email, or a fun blog post by one of the regular bloggers I follow.  Once I click on a page out of momentary distraction, I might see something on that new page that takes me in a whole other direction...I can do this for hours if I don't catch myself.  But sometimes I find something that makes the whole wasted time worth it!  Like this morning...I don't know how I came across this YouTube video but I watched the entire 33 minutes 48 seconds and I felt so uplifted by it that I wanted to share it with you. If you don't have the full 34 minutes to watch it now, save this post somewhere so you can get to it quickly when you do have the time.  (*I remembered how I found this video...I was visiting one of my favorite blogs "After the Kids Leave" and Wendy included the clip about 'Lost Nouns' and this led me to Sandra's website, and then I found a link to this interview.  Just wanted to give credit to Wendy since I finally remembered where this all started.)

It's a video of a radio interview on QTV with Sandra Shamas.  She is a comedy entertainer who shares her life with her audience in a way that is filled with honesty, humor, and little life-lessons for those of us who can relate to her trials and tribulations about menopause and being a woman living her second act with love for ourselves.  I wished I lived in Canada so I could go to one of her shows...but that is a bit far to travel so I just have to live with the little YouTube snippets of her shows...like this one (adult language) on Menopause and the lost Nouns.  Enjoy!